June Dear All
Our next meeting is Wednesday July 6th at the Grand Hotel 7pm for dinner. Please RSVP jo.lovelock@bigpond.com. We have also booked the Seminar Room at The Bays from 2.30-4pm if any of you wonderful women who can’t make evenings would like to get together for a cuppa.
We hope this finds you managing the weather. There are quite a number of you undergoing treatment at the moment. Sue and Jo called in on Sonya and left some flowers at Monash as she has had further surgery. Please feel free to contact us or another group member or your buddy if you need to have a chat. Or bang off and email. Don’t forget 131120 Monday – Friday for the Cancer Council Helpline. The nurses are fabulous and they have a huge knowledge base to draw from!
Sue and Jos day at CCVic was about complementary and alternative therapy. No too much new info but their booklet is available call 131120 for a free copy.
Jo has registered for the BCNA National Member group Summit in August as there was no interest from the group. She is happy to attend as before and will come back full of enthusiasm (again!!) Dea is also attending as the ‘youngies’ representative so they hope to have some fun as well as roomies!!
Linda Mills, Kate Smith and Jo are attending Raelene Boyles happy 60th with 1000 of her closest friends on July 1st. It is a major fundraiser for BCNA and will report back afterwards!
October will be busy. Mornington Food and Wine festival is Sunday 16th, Cruden Farm Morning Tea raising funds for the wig library is Friday 21st,and the Pink Ribbon motorcycle ride is Sunday 23rd. Jo is speaking to the boys in leather about the Indian experience, over at Point Cook so it could be fun....
Cancer Council Vic
Has an upcoming forum being run by Carers Victoria called Lasting the Distance.
The forum is for Carers of people with Cancer and will discuss strategies to help them manage the stress of caring. Date: Thursday 21 July Time: 6.00 - 8.00 pm
Venue: Austin Hospital, 145 Studley Street Heidelberg
Peaks and Valleys Emotions and Cancer
Live web chat for people affected by cancer
Date/Time: 4th August 2011 6.00pm-7.30pm
www.cancerconnections.com.au to register
Helpful hints from Cancer Council Vic
Cancer in the family: 10 ways to help your kids cope
Often in support groups, I am asked questions about how to talk to children about cancer, which approach is best, and how much is too much information. The tips below have been taken from the booklet “Talking to kids about cancer”. Please call the Helpline on 13 11 20 if you would like a full copy of the full booklet for your group.
1. Open the door
For many people, cancer is a long and uncertain journey. At diagnosis you may know little about your cancer, so it’s difficult to know what to tell your children. This means that telling your children about cancer is not a one-off event. It is an unfolding story, and your children will need regular updates as you find out more information. When you first break the news, let your children know they can come to you at any time with questions or concerns. Children often won’t say they are worried, so they need lots of chances to talk and for you to draw out those concerns. So it’s a case of opening the door to talk about cancer and trying to leave that door open throughout your cancer experience.
2. Don’t expect to be perfect
Talking to your kids about cancer can be confronting and upsetting. Sometimes it can be tricky to talk to them, and you may make a bit of a mess of it. Don’t panic. If things don’t work out the way you planned, take time to work out what you will do differently next time. Kids will cope if a conversation doesn’t go exactly as planned. And a setback can be a great chance for growth for both you and your kids. Give yourself a break – you weren’t a perfect parent before cancer and you won’t be a perfect parent after the diagnosis.
3. Let your kids ask questions
Try not to overload children with too much information at once. One way to avoid this is to give them small amounts of information, wait and then ask them if they have any questions. If they don’t, leave it at that. They may come back a day or two later to ask you a question. Answer their questions as accurately as possible, considering their age and experience of cancer in the family. If your kids know they can ask you anything at any time and you’ll do your best to answer, this opens the door for continued communication. It can help to show you appreciate their questions by saying something like: “You have such great questions.” Often children’s questions have a hidden meaning, so try to tease out the real meaning with responses like: “That’s interesting. What got you thinking about that?” You don’t have to immediately answer questions. If you don’t know the answer or want to think about it first, say you’ll come back with an answer. You could say something like: “That’s a really good question and I want to talk to dad/mum/the doctor. I’ll let you know what they say.” This shows that you welcome all questions.
4. Take every opportunity to communicate
Most parents know the times and situations when their kids are more likely to open up. For one child it may be bath or bedtime, for another it may be the walk or drive to school. Try to tap into those times and be creative in finding ways to talk to your children and find out how they are feeling. You don’t have to sit down and have a heart to heart, which children may find threatening. Sometimes the best conversations are in the car or while you’re doing the washing up. Tune into how your kids like to play, because games can often reveal a lot about what they are thinking and feeling. From sandpit play and journal writing to playing with toys or kicking a soccer ball, there are many ways to gently find out how your children are feeling. Art is also a great way to get kids talking. For younger children, you can ask them to draw a house, and draw each of the family members, so you start to get the picture of how they
see the family. All through your cancer journey there are ways to communicate with your kids that don’t involve talking. One of the best ways to communicate is to simply spend time with them.
5. Be honest and maintain trust
You can’t protect your children by avoiding the truth. Once you’ve established good communication about cancer, keep it going by being as open as you can, even if the news isn’t good.
6. Ask them what they know
Encourage your children to tell you what other people have said about your cancer. This gives you the chance to clear up any misunderstandings and, if they hear anything that upsets them, they know they don’t have to worry alone.
7. Set them straight
Children often worry that they caused a parent’s cancer. Make it clear that nothing they have done caused your cancer and nothing they do can affect the course of the cancer.
8. Show your love and emotion
As always, take every opportunity to tell your children that you love them. Assure them they will be looked after throughout your cancer treatment, even if you can’t always do it yourself. And don’t be afraid to show your emotions in front of your children. This shows them that it’s okay for everyone to show their feelings, and that you don’t always know what to do or say. It’s also important to show your children that you love them, with lots of hugs and spending special time together.
9. Preserve family time and change their routine as little as possible
Continue with your normal routines as much as possible. If you can, during treatment try to set aside time for the whole family as well as for each of your kids. Depending on your family, there may be many people coming to your house to help. This is great, but it is important to make sure that helpers don’t take over and visit too much. Sometimes it can be useful to let helpers know that a particular day or afternoon is family or quiet time. Tell your kids it’s okay to go about their life as usual – to see friends, play sport, do after-school activities and have fun. Welcome their efforts to help out at home but don’t take it for granted.
10. Be prepared to listen
When you’re talking about the cancer and treatment, remember to stop and listen to your children. Sometimes parents are so intent on talking about the medical information they don’t hear how their kids really feel.
On Wednesday 15 June, Cancer Council Victoria will launch a new Cancer Support Group for parents who have been diagnosed with cancer. The group, to be held in Hampton, will allow parents to discuss the challenges of parenting school aged children during and after a cancer diagnosis with others that have been through a similar experience
Registration is essential as places are limited. Contact 9635 5396 to register your interest today.
For more information, please contact Melissa Davis on (03) 9635 5549 or
Melissa.Davis@cancervic.org.au
Breast Reconstruction
There has been a lot of discussion about breast reconstructions. There was an article in the Verve magazine about different types of procedures. We know many doctors favour one type over another as their expertise lies in one area. The message was that there is no such thing as a best technique for any one patient. The method used must be tailored to the individual patient. It depends on the breast size, shape, and personal preferences. The gals that have had recos are willing to chat either face to face or online to those waiting.
Breacan are offering an information session on reconstruction and I recommend anyone interested to go along. If you are unable to attend they usually tape their sessions and then they are available via the library there.
When:Thursday, 14/07/2011 - 10:30am - 12:00pm
Where:Ground Floor, 210 Lonsdale Street, Melbourne, VIC, 3000, Australia
As a plastic surgeon, Dr. Hamish Farrow, consults with many women about breast reconstruction. In this session he will cover the factors women need to consider in deciding what is right for them, the different types of reconstruction available and new developments in reconstructive surgery.
Booking is essential.Phone 1300 781 500 or email breacan@breacan.org.au.
If you are not on the public waiting list please get on it!! You can always cancel and someone else move up the list. Whether you have health insurance or not, an option for no/less out of pocket expenses is to have surgery in a public hospital. The waiting list is supposed to be no more than 2 years although we know some gals have been waiting up to 7. BCNA are doing some research on this at the moment.
Other Brecan sessions coming up include
Clinical Trials 12.00-1.30 pm Wednesday 29 June
Anxiety 12.00-1.30pm Wednesday 20 July
Treatment for advanced cancer options and opportunities 12.00-1.30pm Thursday 28July
Coffee cupcakes and connections for women living with advanced breast or gynaecological cancer
10.30-12.00pm Monday 12 September
Visit http://breacan.org.au/ or telephone 1300781500
Peninsula Health Care Network (Frankston Hospital) will be offering a Living with Cancer Education Program this year. More information will follow when available. Several gals have been to these up in the city and have found them beneficial. There are sometimes separate sessions for when cancer has returned as well as an ‘early’ diagnosis.
We are hoping that Julie Regan a nutritionist will visit at the August meeting. If anyone has specific questions they would like answered could you email them to Jo and then we will have a reply!
Wig Library Recipe Book. We have received some great recipes and are still looking for more. If you would like to add a line about why it’s your favourite, or why it’s a wonderful idea for women to support other women through fundraising for the wig library we would like to hear from you. Sally Ann’s email to send them to is: mjrackham@dodo.com.au Sally Ann is our Pilates teacher who prints our brochure for free and will do the recipe book as well for free. This means all monies raised will go to the wig library!
Jo, Sue, Chris and your mates at Breast Intentions
